Dancing all the way to the Post Office

What's with the Post Office? Well.....THE LETTER came. The very letter that I anticipated getting once Livi was here. I knew that the IVF Lab in Colorado will be sending their annual letter slash invoice about what to do with Stef's frozen sperm.....dispose or pay for another year of storage. This time last year, I payed. I was 4 months pregnant and did not know for sure how I would feel about a second child once the baby was here and did not want to burn any bridges just yet. This year is a completely different story. I am very happy to announce that Livi is the one, the only one. There is a beauty and freedom in being so sure of something, especially something as monumental as this. The only way I can say it, is that the way everything is now, feels exactly right. I don't feel like there is someone or something missing. Needless to say, I don't think I need to remind anyone what it took to have Livi. So, the very low chances of a second IVF success coupled with the identical process AND the lack of an internal pull for a second child....well, I think you know what our response is to Colorado. That is not to say that a second child is not welcome in our family, should there be a soul out there insistent on becoming a part of it. The only way I would have another child is if I got spontaneously pregnant on my own. And with obstructive azoospermia in the house, that little soul would literally have to pull some strings.

So I'm dancing all the way to the post office with the notarized letter in hand, the envelope and our fate sealed. I am dancing because I am happy to know that what I have is what I want and what I want, I have. So blissful. And I'm also dancing to the post office, because I'm actually dancing. Yes! I'm Irish dancing again. And back at the school where I had quit 6 years ago and had started up a private dance troop with a group of dance friends instead. That troop was a blast but fell apart after the other girls were burnt out from dancing with us and still at the school. I had no interest to go back to that school but always had this feeling I would find myself back there one day. Low and behold, it happened. My other dance friend who also had quit the school, myself and two others who teach at the school now were having breakfast as we often do as friends. She says to me "Let's go on Monday and just try it out". Trying it out turned into staying (saw that one coming) and loving it as always. I still can't believe I am back. But I don't see it that way. So much has changed there. The politics, stress and reasons I quit for are gone. I'm just happy to be dancing again and doing something just for me once a week. We had a workshop where a certified Irish Dance Teacher was flown in on Saturday. Stef brought Livi to watch the hard shoe (the shoes that make that tapping sound) because she loves to discover new sounds and environments. Got a pic after class:

I had told Livi when we went to see some Irish Dancing this summer that one day she will come to watch her mommy dance. I had hoped it was true........little did I know it was around the corner.

Thanks to R, for getting me to put my shoes on again, and to L and G for sharing the love of the dance.

To Livi, at 6 months

You turned 6 moths on Friday and we took you out to Montana's where mommy and daddy thoroughly enjoyed a burger and fries and you nibbled on mashed potatoes. We took your stroller in so you could chill out. You did just that, listening to your playlist on mommy's iPad and checking out every detail in the ceiling. They do have a crazy ceiling. You were a super cute hit in your Hilfiger Jeans. Check out your little butt in this outfit, compiments of Grandpa.

What Mommy and Daddy can't get enough of at 6 months:

- Your affection.....you love to be touched, stroked, massaged and you even reach out to hold my hand and to pet me back which blows my mind....and I melt
- Your smile and funny sounding laugh when you get excited. We love how you flail your arms when you get excited...which is often....especially when you see daddy, and especially when he attends your baths. You flail your arms so hard into your belly, I worry you will bruise.
- You started on solids after your 5th month birthday and so far love eating everything! Even spinach!
- You fall asleep by yourself with absolutely no sleep training! you have found a way to self sooth and it's taken some time to work and to practice it but I can put you in your crib and walk away....what a relief and joy that is for both you and I.
- Your intence focus and love of detail is fascinating. You will stare at paintings, ceiling vents and fans, and odd objects that stand out. The part about a toy that interest you the most is the little tag sticking out or a thread that has come lose. We love watching your tiny little fingers intertwine with what you're twiddling.
- You reach for absolutely everything and must have it. And then your gums must have it. Your greatest interest of course is my BlackBerry and the house phone. The second you got a hold of my cell you speed-dialed grandma. She thought that was pretty cool.
- You are an easy going baby while making your needs and wishes very clear. We are never guessing what it is you want. Especially the time you hit my friend because she wouldn't share her strawberry....your favorite. Your communication is unmistakable and your happiness busts our hearts.
- You can stand on your own while holding you for balance for a long time now....so proud of you! You are trying to sit up ALL the time, eventhough you don't have complete control once up. But we work on it in your Bumbo (yes, the safe one) and in your make shift living room while watching Baby Einstein (Josey, I thought your pic was so hilarious, that I had to get one)

 Livi, you are the life and joy of our days.

 I call you my angel everyday because I truly believe you are one 

We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful little girl, in every way

 We love how astute and focused you are. You love fine detail, are always looking around to see new things. If you're not smiling, you're deep in thought.

 And you're putting mommy to shame in the photogenic arena....that's for sure!