And our Shinning Star is.......

A little GIRL!!

So excited! I thought it was a girl all along until lots of people insisted it was a boy, and got me thinking I may be wrong. But it's a good thing I was excited for both. So we're having our little princess! I went straight to a nice baby store and got her an heirloom blanket. As my first gift to her.

Thank you for all your support!!

Gratitude and a Special Announcement

|As I sit in the morning twilight, watching the snow on our evergreens turn a soft pink, greatfullness sweeps into my heart.

Reading a few blogs lately of my IVF girls, or their blog followers, there are some very sad stories out there. So many struggles...not just with infertility and IVF, but procedures and hurdles they have to overcome to get to do a cycle of IVF...just to see it fail again and again, having to deal with the implications of donor egg or sperm...not knowing where to draw the line and what it all means. The pain, hardship and stress that infertility and continued IVF failures cause to people, their marriages and their families can be paralizing. My heart goes out to all of them, and it makes me even more greatful to be carrying our child....and I'm still waiting for it to hit me acutually. It is still surreal. Every pregnancy is a miracle of life. My IVF pregnancy feels like a miracle gift. Of life, science and God.

I'm also greatful for my parents who took in my parrots. My Jardine and lovebird are now living with my parents, for as long as they can or want to take are of them. As simple as this may sound, it is not and was not, for anyone. They are both beautiful little creatures with amazing personalities who were very attached to us. I used to nap with them with one sitting on my chest above my heart and the other on my knee. They used to eat breakfast with us, especially pancakes, and then shower with me. I never sang in the shower....but my lovebird did. Everyday that I came home from work, my love bird would sit on the handle of the French door of their room and look on in anticipation as I put my computer down and went to kiss his beak through the glass. He couldn't wait to see me and come out and play, followed by my Jardine. They could not stay with us because they are fully flighted and not caged, which makes clean up alone a two hour afair daily, and most of the day on Sunday when I did a full once over on their room. Also, the big parrot has a major attitude, especially during breeding season and can be jealous and dangerous....so he can never be around a child, or me taking care of a child. At the age of 23, when I moved back in with my parents after living on my own for a while, my dad was thrilled, but with one stipulation " but when you move out again, no more leaving your pets behind ". Well, my parents have now taken care of 4 of my birds, 3 of which are still well and alive in their home today. I'm so greatful they are willing to let those little feathered treasures mess up their house, take up lots of their time, and bring song and laughter to their life.


I'm greatful for Stef. Everyone who knows us personally, knows that he is a genius designer and renovator. His back breaking work ethic combined with a nack for perfection and an eye for contemporary style has turned our home and back yard into being worthy of magazine covers. While I was at my parents' in Edmonton settling in my birds and being spoiled by my mom and friend Monika and her family, Stef set sail on the house and nursery renos, all bunkered in for a week. What was the birds' room is now the nursery, all cleaned out with fresh paint, modern wall paper on the feature wall and a funky closet we are finishing up today. The main floor of our home has been completely repainted and restyled, with a major reno project in the livingroom, which faces the nursery. We will spend more time in this room now (as opposed to it having been an abandoned art gallery for the past three years) so we are bringing in a fire place and TV as well as a child safe leather coffee table and new area rug which we brought home yesterday and are enjoying right now. All this to say that I am greatful to have a husband with all his great qualities, including those that REALLY make other wives jealous. Along with his Italian good looks, the taste of Sir Frank Lloyd Wright, the artistic flare of DaVinchi and the heart of a true Roman Soldier.

I think I might be feeling the baby's movement. Not the butterfly flutters that people talk about, but more like a muscle twich feels. Or a pinch from inside. We'll have a look at the baby during my 20 week ultrasound on Wednesday and hopefully FIND OUT THE GENDER of the baby!!. That is my special announcement. So look for an update this coming Wednesday about a boy or girl...hopefully the little one is a little exhibitionist like his or her mama and is facing the right way!

Something in the Wind

As a pharmaceutical rep, I frequent many doctors' offices and waiting rooms and see many kids and families. Today, one caught my attention to the core. The mom was sitting on a chair and her little girl, less than 2, was underneath it, facing her brother, younger than her, who was wound around his mother's legs. She was creaming in laughter and delight. They were playing some game that only they know and understand and apparently, she was winning. Her laughter was so sweet and wonderful, that I couldn't help but wonder what her life would be like if her brother wasn't there to bring her that kind of joy. What she would be doing in that waiting room instead....tugging at her mom in bordom? sitting and reading a children's book? I don't know....but she wouldn't be laughing like that. A month ago, that scene would have had me running back to my car in tears, still not understanding why we were not given twins in this process....like I was sure we would if I got pregnant. To be honest, I never saw myself as a mother of two before IVF. I only dreamed of one child my whole life. But IVF almost promises the option of two babies at once and the idea really grew on me as our journey progressed. So much so, that I thought for sure a boy and a girl were in our future. Up until recently, I still didn't understand how only a singleton happened. Over joyed and greatful of course, yet a little disappointed and perplexed how my strong premonition of having siblings had been wrong.

Then something changed. I became aware of a strong message that I had been too stubborn to hear before. That I'm living my destiny. And a peace has fallen over my heart about this child being a singleton. Like it's meant to be for reasons I don't know yet and need to trust. I can't explain where it came from. All I know is that seeing a couple with two kids, thinking about twins or the notion that our child may grow up without a brother or sister no longer bothers me. It's as if he or she whispered it to me from my whom...."It's OK. It's what I want".

P.S. Lest we forget, I had TWO normal blasts at day 5. One arrested. The other one, I'm carrying.

Enjoy our 4 moths pictures. Stef took them - he is a magician.