Plan C - 7 weeks to go

Firstly, please know that I am reading all your blogs, but can't comment. On my PC, when I click on "publish", the commment window disappears and on my iPad, the text in the comment box gets stuck midsentence. Bare with me...until then, know that I am reading everything. Tortoise....love your hiccup and nursery post.

I had my first shower at my friend Marlene's place. So greatful for her and her husband who put on a great party for me AND my husband and all the guys who wanted to come. They went into the theater room downstairs and watched a nature show in the dark (LOL) while we opened presents and had a great time. I am very greatful for everyone's visit and generosity. We loved it!

I named this post "Plan C" because that is what it is. Exaclty 7 weeks from today, I have a planned C-section. Plan A of just rolling into my due date will not work, as the possibility of going overdue can be a risky thing at my age (40). Plan B of going overdue and asking for an induction does not work here. Government run healthcare dictates no induction before 10 days to two weeks overdue, unless it is passed by a committee. I'm NOT relying on that. So, plan "C" it is. It is scheduled for one day before I turn 40 weeks, and three days before the 8 week ultrasound predicted due date. On April 12, 2012, just after 12 noon, I will be in the OR, unless she decides to come earlier. You may have noticed there are ALOT of 12's in that date. I believe that's good luck.

My wish is to go into labor prior to that date and deliver vaginally, providing everything looks textbook. I will get assessed at the hospital if I go into labor early and they will decide then if the C-section should happen anyways, or proceed with a natural labour. 70% of women over 40 had a vaginal birth, according to a study looking at over 32,000 births, between 40-44 years of age. I think those are good odds. Alot of this is up to her now!

As for what I'll be doing to help the process along: aquasize twice a week plus yoga, massage and accupucture, and keeping my weight within healthy boundaries. I can no longer hit the treadmill because the pain in my feet has become unbarable if I do more than everyday necessary trips, like couch to bathroom, house to car, car to work, etc. And boy...I never thought it would be so dreadful to drop something.... had no idea how hard it is to pick stuff up right now! So far, no heartburn (which is wierd...had it all the time before pregnancy) and no problem sleeping. yey!

As for a few words about the next 7 weeks.....I can't get enough of her belly dancing. I've been a dancer my hole life, my soul always moving my feet. Now, her little feet move my soul. I talk to her, as I think that's how she talks to me. Especially at night when I lay on my side and she complains as she floats over there. On my back is her favorite spot. I wish I could bottle this time.....but I'm told I will forever feel that way from now on. One day I will be telling her how she was a boucing bug in my belly....I bet I'll want to bottle that too.

Confessions....and more pictures

So I'm battling an addiction.....it started out innocent enough, like most addictions do. You take a hit here and there, telling yourself it's just a "social habit". Before you know it, you're doing it by yourself and in doses that cause bells of alarm to go off in your subconscious. But like any real addiction, the first step is to admit you have a problem. Ok. Here I go:

I CANNOT STOP BUYING ADORABLE BABY GIRL CLOTHES

I tell myself it's OK because they are on sale....she'll grow into them...etc. But seriously, it's out of hand. I've been to all the baby boutiques in the city and got the sweetest things for her....mostly for the fall and winter next year, as that's what's on sale. I know, I know....so many of my friends told me to stop....that I'll get lots of gifts and she may not even be able to use them. But please tell me....WHAT about these is a waste of anything:

Right?? How could I resist.  I really don't care what I should or should not be doing....I loved every minute of stocking up for her. And hello!.....Macy's ships to Canada now....da...as if I don't have a shipment on it's way :)

On the work front, the day I turn 37 weeks is my last day at work. I am looking forward to this time of my life, but I also love what I do and work with amazing people, so I may miss it....who knows. I sent the following picture to my team, as they are getting on a plane on Monday and heading to Toronto for a National meeting. I've been excused from the meeting, due to my advanced pregnancy. The most exciting part of the meeting I will miss is finding out if my team won the incentive trip this year...Costa Rica! If we won, they will be there riiiiiiiiight around the time of my delivery. So we would have the option to go on the trip next year. Here is what they got as a "toast" to hopefully winning, and it's also my 7 month picture:

 And I can't believe I'm about to say this....but the NURSERY IS FINALLY READY!! All I'm missing is onsies and stuff like that...which I'll get later.

So for now, just trucking along. Feeling pretty good, with the exception of a bit more fatigue and sore feet. No sleep disturbances or heart burn so far! fingers crossed for the next few weeks! Getting through my sport of a job the best way I can everyday.....I can't move as fast as I used to, and my job is as physical as is it intellectual, so I can tucker out pretty fast. Looking forward to my two showers.....as an IVFer, it will be something I've always watched other people have, so I can't wait to have me and my big belly at a party that celebrates our daughter.Our hypnobirthing class is done, and was a great experience. Still going to prenatal yoga and aquasize and really happy to feel part of something like that during this pregnancy.

I am seeing my OBGYN next week and will be talking about my planned C-section, so will update you on that. For those of you out of the loop, a C-section is not my preference, but is only a back up to going overdue. For me and my doc, at my age, that is just NOT an option.  

So....gotta go....I think Macy's is having a one day blow out :)

Pictures and the Next Trimester

(For my followers by e-mail, please erase the previous post..it was posted in error. This is the real one)

6 month picture:

How much I've grown in the second trimester:

In my 28th week, as the sun rises on my third trimester, I reflect on what the second trimester has taught me:

Constantly needing to eat slowly changed to constantly needing to pee.....made even more entertaining by my the little one using my bladder as her first drum set
My thighs rubbing together when I walked....especially while nude.....was uncalled for
Frequent fatigue slowly turned to frequent foot pain. My feet were the only ailment I had...so I'm lucky.
I found the common reaction of "JUST WAIT!" from other moms when talking about my pregnancy to be something I ended up trying to avoid. I don't want to wait....I'm loving every second
Rings and watch became deadly threats to normal circulation and had to come off until further notice
My boobs slowly turned from newly endowed blossoms to serious nipple clad rockets that frankly frightened both of us
Although it may look like the extra lbs is all baby, I've grown a new back
I love pink more than I ever have in my whole life
Deciding on a name is a journey, and finding 'the one' feels like you've just invented somebody
They say women reach their sexual peak at 40. Combine that with a progesterone pumped 2nd trimester, and I'm all Peppe-le-Pew, chasing hubby around.

Top 5 favorite of the second trimester:
1) My friends and my parents were so excited they dropped gifts off on my door step and sent gifts and books in the mail. Truly amazing, and thank you very much.
2 ) Hubby carrying my purse and LaVieEnRose purchase while shopping at the Bay because my feet hurt
3) Feeling and watching the baby kick as we relaxed together every night by the fireplace
4) Getting the nursery ready together
5) New Years in Vegas and shopping for her there. The clothes are painfully cute:

A list of the books I've been reading in hopes of having a shred of a clue:
The Happiest Baby on the Block
The Big Book of Birth
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
The Girlfriend's Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood
The Girlfriend's Guide to Baby Gear
On Becoming Baby Wise
....and 4 pregnancy books that are getting a bit of dust now.

Accomplishments during the second trimester: Started and loving prenatal aquasize, Hypnobirthing, prenatal yoga (first class this Saturday), 25 - 45 minutes on the treadmill as often as possible, got the Baptism plans underway (including my dear friend M as the God Mother), registered at Babies R Us (the inventory on the Canadian registry sucks), Stef drove us to see my birds at my parents' (7 hours away) after moving them in November, which was more than awesome. 
Third trimester goals: Do my work outs in the morning, set up a will, have fun at my two baby showers (one friend and one work), Doula and birthplan, start my Belly Book, take Infant safety course in person or in a book, finish crocheting her blanket, finish preparing all necessities, get an airtight plan with my OBGYN

A huge, heartfelt thank you to Stef who has once again shared his gift of design and renovating with our new family to be. Here is picture of the before and after of the nursery and a current work in progress of her bookcase and closet.

Our upstairs livingroom, an abandoned art gallery to our livingroom downstairs, was across from the bird room, now the nursery. Now a new TV and gas fireplace upstairs, (all built and installed by Stef) since we will be spending more time there. Here is a shot of the new livingroom, and then one going into the nursery from the livingroom.

The other room that needed to have an overhaul is my office. We wanted to make room for her to play in there and generally have a better space for me to work in. Here is one before and two after pictures of my office.

Needless to say, it has been and will continue to be a busy few months. We are having a ball. Not one moment goes by without me feeling like I'm the luckiest person alive. She is starting to kick me off the couch these days and it's beyond magical. I do a double-take whenever I pass a mirror....I still can't believe that the pregant woman I'm looking at is me. My whole life, I wondered what it would be like, and two years ago, I was told it was not possible. IVF and Denver made the impossible happen. And it reminds me with a kick, every day.

Cord Blood and other Black Holes

It is now one year ago that we had our phone consult with Dr. Minjarez at CCRM, and two years that my doctor sat me down in her office and told me Stef has azoospermia. I cannot believe that today, I am 21 weeks pregnant with the baby girl of my dreams and just finished a tour of the labour and delivery ward at the hospital. I do have to say that not only do I feel like the luckiest person in the world, I am stinking proud of myself for all that I've done to accomplish this. The end result was out of my hands, but getting there was all in my control and I worked like a one armed turkey farmer to get there. When I was on the phone with Dr. M one year ago, embarking on the journey to the land of a thousand needles and endless stress and work, I never would have guessed that this could really come true.

On a much different note...I stumbled upon something that will not work out and it actually upset me greatly. Anyone giving birth these days has the option of storing their child's cord ( for the stem cells ) for their future use, or to donate it to hopefully save the life of others. After some research on the probability of her needing her own stem cells in life, I decided to donate my daughter's cord blood so her stem cells can save the life of someone else. She was a gift from God and science and I really wanted to give back to them both. It was not easy finding a facility that actually allowed you to donate....but found plenty that would take your money to store your own. After finally finding one in Alberta and having them send me their paperwork, I was heart broken to find out that I am excluded from public donation. Anyone over 36 years of age is. Brutal. Don't know why....I guess genetic testing at CCRM only goes so far. Through my disappointment, I realized that her and I will have to find other ways of giving back and showing our gratitude.

Stef and I worked hard on the nursery this weekend. It's really coming along...I'll post a picture when we have it done. As for some of the things on my to do list...I'm not doing too bad. Hospital tour was done tonight, I've started prenatal aquasize, signing up for prenatal yoga and Hypnobirthing this weekend, started crotcheting her baby blanket, put our name on the waiting list of three child care facilities and am continuing to take my picture every week for my Belly Book, which I have yet to start. So lots of things to do still, including landing a name for her.

I have to admit, I never expected finding a name to be such a challenge. Stef and I agree on very few, and the few we agree on, I like for a week and then we're back to square one. I keep getting this feeling that her name has already been decided and if I listen carefully, I'll hear it. OK, I'm all ears.

And our Shinning Star is.......

A little GIRL!!

So excited! I thought it was a girl all along until lots of people insisted it was a boy, and got me thinking I may be wrong. But it's a good thing I was excited for both. So we're having our little princess! I went straight to a nice baby store and got her an heirloom blanket. As my first gift to her.

Thank you for all your support!!

Gratitude and a Special Announcement

|As I sit in the morning twilight, watching the snow on our evergreens turn a soft pink, greatfullness sweeps into my heart.

Reading a few blogs lately of my IVF girls, or their blog followers, there are some very sad stories out there. So many struggles...not just with infertility and IVF, but procedures and hurdles they have to overcome to get to do a cycle of IVF...just to see it fail again and again, having to deal with the implications of donor egg or sperm...not knowing where to draw the line and what it all means. The pain, hardship and stress that infertility and continued IVF failures cause to people, their marriages and their families can be paralizing. My heart goes out to all of them, and it makes me even more greatful to be carrying our child....and I'm still waiting for it to hit me acutually. It is still surreal. Every pregnancy is a miracle of life. My IVF pregnancy feels like a miracle gift. Of life, science and God.

I'm also greatful for my parents who took in my parrots. My Jardine and lovebird are now living with my parents, for as long as they can or want to take are of them. As simple as this may sound, it is not and was not, for anyone. They are both beautiful little creatures with amazing personalities who were very attached to us. I used to nap with them with one sitting on my chest above my heart and the other on my knee. They used to eat breakfast with us, especially pancakes, and then shower with me. I never sang in the shower....but my lovebird did. Everyday that I came home from work, my love bird would sit on the handle of the French door of their room and look on in anticipation as I put my computer down and went to kiss his beak through the glass. He couldn't wait to see me and come out and play, followed by my Jardine. They could not stay with us because they are fully flighted and not caged, which makes clean up alone a two hour afair daily, and most of the day on Sunday when I did a full once over on their room. Also, the big parrot has a major attitude, especially during breeding season and can be jealous and dangerous....so he can never be around a child, or me taking care of a child. At the age of 23, when I moved back in with my parents after living on my own for a while, my dad was thrilled, but with one stipulation " but when you move out again, no more leaving your pets behind ". Well, my parents have now taken care of 4 of my birds, 3 of which are still well and alive in their home today. I'm so greatful they are willing to let those little feathered treasures mess up their house, take up lots of their time, and bring song and laughter to their life.


I'm greatful for Stef. Everyone who knows us personally, knows that he is a genius designer and renovator. His back breaking work ethic combined with a nack for perfection and an eye for contemporary style has turned our home and back yard into being worthy of magazine covers. While I was at my parents' in Edmonton settling in my birds and being spoiled by my mom and friend Monika and her family, Stef set sail on the house and nursery renos, all bunkered in for a week. What was the birds' room is now the nursery, all cleaned out with fresh paint, modern wall paper on the feature wall and a funky closet we are finishing up today. The main floor of our home has been completely repainted and restyled, with a major reno project in the livingroom, which faces the nursery. We will spend more time in this room now (as opposed to it having been an abandoned art gallery for the past three years) so we are bringing in a fire place and TV as well as a child safe leather coffee table and new area rug which we brought home yesterday and are enjoying right now. All this to say that I am greatful to have a husband with all his great qualities, including those that REALLY make other wives jealous. Along with his Italian good looks, the taste of Sir Frank Lloyd Wright, the artistic flare of DaVinchi and the heart of a true Roman Soldier.

I think I might be feeling the baby's movement. Not the butterfly flutters that people talk about, but more like a muscle twich feels. Or a pinch from inside. We'll have a look at the baby during my 20 week ultrasound on Wednesday and hopefully FIND OUT THE GENDER of the baby!!. That is my special announcement. So look for an update this coming Wednesday about a boy or girl...hopefully the little one is a little exhibitionist like his or her mama and is facing the right way!

Something in the Wind

As a pharmaceutical rep, I frequent many doctors' offices and waiting rooms and see many kids and families. Today, one caught my attention to the core. The mom was sitting on a chair and her little girl, less than 2, was underneath it, facing her brother, younger than her, who was wound around his mother's legs. She was creaming in laughter and delight. They were playing some game that only they know and understand and apparently, she was winning. Her laughter was so sweet and wonderful, that I couldn't help but wonder what her life would be like if her brother wasn't there to bring her that kind of joy. What she would be doing in that waiting room instead....tugging at her mom in bordom? sitting and reading a children's book? I don't know....but she wouldn't be laughing like that. A month ago, that scene would have had me running back to my car in tears, still not understanding why we were not given twins in this process....like I was sure we would if I got pregnant. To be honest, I never saw myself as a mother of two before IVF. I only dreamed of one child my whole life. But IVF almost promises the option of two babies at once and the idea really grew on me as our journey progressed. So much so, that I thought for sure a boy and a girl were in our future. Up until recently, I still didn't understand how only a singleton happened. Over joyed and greatful of course, yet a little disappointed and perplexed how my strong premonition of having siblings had been wrong.

Then something changed. I became aware of a strong message that I had been too stubborn to hear before. That I'm living my destiny. And a peace has fallen over my heart about this child being a singleton. Like it's meant to be for reasons I don't know yet and need to trust. I can't explain where it came from. All I know is that seeing a couple with two kids, thinking about twins or the notion that our child may grow up without a brother or sister no longer bothers me. It's as if he or she whispered it to me from my whom...."It's OK. It's what I want".

P.S. Lest we forget, I had TWO normal blasts at day 5. One arrested. The other one, I'm carrying.

Enjoy our 4 moths pictures. Stef took them - he is a magician.