Almost 2 and 1/2

Spiderman and Lamb listen to a very

Important story 

And we're all ready for "dance cwass". 

Thank you Monika for the 

Beautiful dress 

Livi is doing amazing. Loving her daycare and everyone there. They all get an honourable mention at the supper table. We get enlightened in full sentences, the latest being, as she sat down for her bed time potty, "I want to talk". And so we did. We even got the gestures of  a seasoned chatter box, including the long blink and haas turn while lazily pulling on her necklace.

She can't wait for dance class in two weeks, loves gymnastics and hasn't stopped talking about being in the daycare fashion show. (Which I am in charge of, of course)

We went camping three times this summer.... Once in a motor home, once at hotel but camped during the day with family and once in a cottage. We all loved it!! And I took Livi home for my dads retirement. A bit of a family reunion. It was lots of fun.

I am loving my new job and started a new dance class with a friend. Burlesque! Mamma gotta stay hot somehow!

Found my dream job....sleep. No pun inteneded

I have had trouble blogging since becoming a full time working mom. But I have to post today because it marks a very special day. July 1st, Canada Day is the first day Livi came up to me in the kitchen, hugged my leg and said " I yuve yoo". I just melted and it was the most wonderful thing. So far she has never said it out loud and only signed it when I asked if she loves me. All her signs have turned into words except "I love you" and "Thank you". Until today.

Here is a picture from Canada Day celebrations at the park

We later went to Nona's house for fire works. This is s a dress that her cousin had on 20 years ago...along with a very disheveled Barbie who HAD to get dressed up for the photo-op. Livi is very particular and very much into having her picture taken. I have NO idea where she gets that :)..he he...

 Below is a very "CHEESE!" moment just heading out the door.

I can write a book on how much I love her and all that she does that sends me over the moon. The top of the list are how she goes from one word to a whole sentence the next day. The expressions she comes up with and what she repeats to make her self understood is priceless. I kicked something while carrying her the other day and she asked me " Toes? hurt?" ....very considerate. At the park today the cannons where going off and she covered my ear for me. wow. She also loves to cuddle at night when she has a night mare and knows and uses the word. So it's just too much when she calls puddles "cuddles". Or more correctly "cuddowls". Her favorite thing ever is putting her sippy-sippy boots (rubber boots for when it's 'slippery') on and splashing in the cuddowls. She loves her daycare, as do I, and have become one of the Board of Directors and am working on some special projects there...like a fashion show for the kids at the winter gala. She is fully toilet trained if at home and not wearing anything on her bum. Right down to making a dash down the hallway, closing the door and chatting to herself on her potty. This little ritual is always followed by the appropriate celebration of the potty's contents and a little dance from my princess. Speaking of which....she is not shy about dancing...as a matter of fact, we were at an outdoor small little concert at the farmers market downtown and they were playing Irish music. I could tell she wanted to dance. So we both went up and did a little reel and jig together. She loved it and so did the audience. My little star....don't know where she gets that EITHER!! ha ha

And yes... I finally landed a permanent position. A sleep clinic...a new one to Regina. I can't even begin to tell you how incredibly happy I am in my new career and how lucky I feel. This company approached me as one of my previous managers works there. My new manager loves me and I adore her, the company is amazing and the opportunity is brilliant with a promising future. I still get to see my docs but am out of the pharmaceutical industry. I am the liaison between the clinic and the medical community, education them on sleep apnea and promoting the clinic. I count my blessings having my dream girl, and my dream job. Every day, every moment with her, is truly a gift. And every day that I grow in my new position is a joy. I remember a blog I wrote about being stuck not knowing about ever having a child and being in a rut in my career. It took a long time, but it feels wonderful to look back and whisper in my ear "it's all going to be OK....actually....it's going to be amazing"

Oh all those TWOs

I have been waiting for this. This week marked a few milestones. Me going back to work, Livi at daycare full time, me going away for work for 5 nights, and Livi finally putting two words together. "Babba come!" With her arms stretched out to her grandparents on Skype marked the first step towards a sentence. Next was "Dadda cup" pointing to Stef's coffee cup. So amazing to watch and listen to this process.

She 22 months, will be two in two months, says two words in a row, and now I know why they call it the terrible two's. Is is always such  A GOOD KID that when she exhibits defiance I am shocked and admittedly, have zero patience for it. So we breath. I have read something very important lately "Children behave as well as they are treated" so it's super important to acquire the patience I currently lack when she refuses to get dressed, get her diaper changed, put on her shoes or her winter coat. As every toddler, she is looking to exercise control, so as much as possible, I give her a choice. What shoes she wants to wear vs stuffing a screaming kid into the pair I picked. What books she wants to read, what snack she wants, what outfit she wants, etc. she is very quick to point at her selection and is very proud of her new found authority. I have found she is much more reasonable in situations when there is no room for negotiation.

A little concerned about daycare at the moment. But as a control freak, it's only natural. She was sleeping there like an angel, until one day she woke up early. One of the teachers held and rocked her back to sleep. The next day her usual teacher that puts her to sleep on her mat was not there, and the other teacher held her for two hours. Now it's a mess. Livi refuses to go on her mat and only sleeps when someone holds her, and wakes up and cries when they transfer her onto her mat. So the director put a stop to it by having Livi in her office when she doesn't go on her mat. But when the director is not there, the teachers feel sorry for her and hold her. It's a hard situation because I need her to sleep there or she will get sick AND her routine is all messed up.....coming home and sleeping then is not good for her routine or her health. I drove her teacher home last week and talked about it. We went through some strategies to try. Reading her a book like Dadda does is the first plan. With me gone and the weekends in between, she will be out of daycare for 11 days, so I am hoping her derailed sleeping habits there will reset. Dadda and Nanna are taking care of her while I am gone. She is not settled into daycare enough for her to be there all day at the moment. As usual, I am freaked out about a sleeping thing. It has been the only thing of worry for me since she was a baby.....and it has always worked out. She is old enough to know what is expected of her and is perfectly capable of falling asleep on her own. I have to trust that she will figure it out, and so will they.

Work has been great and really looking forward to being at a meeting. This part of my job I missed the most these past two years and it's almost surreal that I am about to board a plane to Toronto. The only baby thing I am traveling with is a breast pump and it's actually weird not to be packing a stroller, toys, book, etc onto the plane. We've taken Livi on 6 trips where we flew so going by myself feels oddly light and relaxed.

Our trip to Mexico was awesome. She still talks about it. We were showing pics of it to family last night, and her response to seeing pictures of it again was ' GO! ' ......I couldn't have said it better myself.

Present

I updated my resume this morning....from Senior Pharmaceutical Representative, 1998 - 2012,
 to 1998 - Present.

I looked at the word "Present" for a while. I feel so proud, happy, relieved and ready, to be announcing to the world that I am a working person again. I write with post with Livi at her daycare and my desk and office full of pieces of my summer wardrobe to be stuffed in my luggage just before we take off to the Mayan Riviera for a family holiday to celebrate.

It has been a gradual journey to today, starting at the end of November. I got a call from her daycare, the ONLY daycare I had hoped would call once there was an opening. I felt like I had won the lottery - with one exception....I still had no job. I asked her to wait for a month, and then start part time to keep my cost down, but it was a foot in the door should something come up. Livi and I spent all of December going to the day care together, for a couple hours a couple times a week, to really get to know all the teachers, kids and the routines. By the end of December, she was sitting in her teacher's lap right in front of me, and playing so that I could step away without her noticing. So I knew she was ready. The first time I left her there she watched me leave and never cried. When I come to pick her up, she just keeps playing until I pry her away and put her coat on. Last week I asked for a full time spot in February, having a hunch that one opportunity was going to come through. Two hours after telling the daycare director that we will go full time in February, I got the call. I got the job....and just like that....no interviews....nothing. It was a previous manager from my previous company that knew me and my work well and didn't waste any time. I loved feeling valued like that....especially after a few jobs that I wanted had slipped though my fingers.

And the moment of truth came yesterday. Livi was to sleep at daycare for the first time....and after being nursed to sleep for over a year. Thanks to Auntie Serena who sent a sweet little nap mat from the States, Livi loves her mat, loves her day care, loves her teacher, and fell asleep like a trooper. I was soooo proud of her, happy and relieved.

I run off to pack, pick her up and hit the hot tub with Livi before a friend comes over tonight for dinner and advises me on what to bring to Mexico (aka....stopping my neurotic packing frenzy)

Will update and send pictures soon. Here is an upside down (sorry) video of Livi....only a fraction of how well she is speaking. It's beyond amazing to watch/hear that journey beginning.

A Little About My Life

Since mom can't get around to writing about her, I will right about myself....cuz lots has gone on in the last 2 1/2 months since her last post....yikes. Has it been that long? I got fans out there mom! I can't have my peeps waiting this long for an update.

That was taken when I turned 16 months and mom turned 42 on August 5th. I turned 18 months on October 5th. Not a baby anymore! Mom just took the front of my crib off....my pad is so grown up now. I assisted her in my own language....sometimes I think she just pretends to understand me...it gets on my nerves. I don't know how much clearer I can be, and yet she just nods and says something resembling agreement in that language she expects me to catch on to. She doesn't fool me. She'll just have to learn my language....I already know that one. Aint learning another one. I know a few hand signs....and that's as far as I'm going. I use the sign to" please go now/let's go/go home" in any situation that I'm simply bored....like when she holds me while talking to a friend. BORRRRING. If she doesn't move it when I've had enough being held, listening to chit chat, doing my "let's go" sign, I just pull at the front of her shirt, indicating I want to nurse. That usually gets her rushing her good byes and I get to have my way....and some milk in the car or bathroom! Bonus!...then again...a few times she caught on to my plan and resisted. That's when I got the real amo out and pulled a breast pad out of her bra. ACKWARD! but it worked! he he.

Mom's had a few job interviews....even one in a big city called Toronto! She had to fly there and I woke up at 5am to find her gone...I didn't like it, but dad rocked me back to sleep and we had a fun day together. She is still at home with me for now and we sometimes go to places called "day cares" to put my name on a list. All I ever hear them say is "3 year waiting list"....whatever that means. I just end up playing with the kids there and stealing their afternoon snacks. They let me because they are too busy being in shock. Snooze you lose...my carrot stick!

We also took a long family trip in September....one week was in California so mom could visit with her friend S and her family. My mom went to see this friend right after Denver, so they were pregnant together two years ago. They both had girls! so it was nice to make a friend. Thank you for everything auntie S! This is from the Persian restaurant we went to. I am getting the hang of eating with a spoon.

Then we went to San Diego and got a hotel right on the beach. I had to check out the balcony instantly...of course!

We had an awesome time at the San Diego Zoo......always wanted to go! We saw everything! Mom kept making the sounds that all the animals make until I didn't even know what was going on anymore. What is with her.....I even forgot the sounds I already know, while trying to learn tigers and apes and elephants. Can we stick to puppies please? I make the cutest puppy bark sound and would really like to keep things simple. 

Then we took off for Santa Monica and did LA and Hollywood from there. We had a hotel right off the Santa Monica Pier. This is me and mom on the Pier....with Malibu in the background....Jennifer Aniston lives in one of those houses! OMG!

And this is us on the Santa Monica Beach....yup....had to do the beach bum thing..!! I loved the waves and splashed till nap time!

Here are a few from Hollywood. 

Seeing where all the shows are filmed in Universal Studios was cool! And mom and dad went on the most awesome ride ever..... 3D Transformers!...while they took turns with me in the Child Switch room....have you every heard of such a thing? cuz I was too small to go.

Then we went to Utah for a week to visit with mom's brother, my uncle Milos and his family! I got to see my cousin and autie....we had so much fun! Here is a picture from a shopping trip auntie took us on to Gardner Village in Salt Lake City.

I loved the trip and am a good little camper on vacation...except on the plane. I don't like to have to stay still during "take off " and "landing"....spare me....what's going to happen then that doesn't happen any other time....why can't I walk the isles and wave at people and flirt with 4 year old boys. I sure let them know I disapprove of their methods!

The weekend after we got home, we went to a super cool farm amusement park type place. They had wagon rides, a corn maze, a chalk board hut, a bounce dome....I had so much fun! Here are a few pictures.

Me and mom are in the middle

Wow that's alot of pumpkins! mmmm...... pumpkin pie....when is Thanksgiving again?

As for a few updates....I've already told you about my language skills, I just got into GiggleBellies and love watching them with my snacks or while I color. Did I mention I like to color? That mostly entails me eating the crayons.....mmmmm.....wax. I'm much better with a pen. I scribble with a pen....and mostly on the paper. Sometimes on myself or the carpet or whatever dares be nearby but mostly on the paper. My favorite activity is being outside...still...eventhough it's getting colder (and I love the fall leaves)...bath time with mom....playing with other kids.... hanging out on mom's bed with her in the middle of the afternoon....taking the contents of a drawer or toy bin and handing you one object at a time, fully explaining what it is and what it's for in full on Livi lingo.....dancing (see below).....helping mom with house work by taking out the cleaning cloths and polishing the kitchen floor while she cooks.....going to Costco, Walmart, Superstore or anywhere where I can ride in a shopping cart and then get out when I'm bored and walk around and rearrange inventory according to my standards. 

Mom thinks she's a dancer but she's got nothing on me. I ask her MANY times a day to replay the video of Katy Perry performing 'Roar' under the Brooklyn Bridge, by pointing at the TV and the remote control and bouncing on the spot with that come hither "you wanna dance?" look I know how to do. It gets her every time. Needless to say, my favorite show is Dancing with the Stars....of course we don't watch that sitting down....no...one little bounce of mine and mom is up and dancing with me. She's my dance partner. She hoped to make a little dancer out of me....little did she know I was going to make an even bigger dancer out of her. 

With my 12 out of 20 teeth, I have been able to begin enjoying things like nuts. Actually, just pecans because they are soft and chewy. Actually, I'm not all there these days because I have 4 more teeth coming in. Good thing mom got me one of those amber necklaces....I'd be a rockin' mess without it now. Can you imagine? All my canine teeth are coming in at once. I feel it at night. A few nights ago, as typical when my teeth come in, I fall sleep and 10 minutes later I yell and wake up the whole house. That continues throughout the night. Mom has been looking green and glazed over for the past while....I wonder why! I feel not too bad....I get milk every time I wake up and then fall right back to sleep....I don't get it....she should it sometime! 

Well, that's about all for my update. Mom is sleeping already so I better sneak into my crib without being noticed. I heard mom and dad saying something about getting me a double bed this week. That would be awesome. I LOVE BEDS. I have to climb into one in every department store we go to and every house we visit. If I had my own double bed, I would play in it all the time. My crib is nice and although cute with the new Hello Kitty pillow and all, but it's ridiculously small. So we'll see about that...in the mean time, I am enjoying every day with mom. I think she'll be going back to work soon and I'll be playing with other kids at a day home, or getting to know a nanny...we'll see. Either way, I will make friends the way I always do. Showing them the boo boo scar on my left thumb, and having them kiss it. The ones who kiss it are friends to keep. The ones who don't even know what I'm doing.....well.....they have some growing up to do. 

In need of child psychology 101

The meanest person I've met in a long time is a four year old named Eva. I reallydidn't appreciate her.....and that says a lot, since my tolerance of other kids has been stretched considerably since becoming a mom myself.

I was attending one of those evening get togethers where someone is selling something and her friend is a hostess. The hostess was lovely and with generous hospitality for the meagre sales that would conclude the evening (three people buying essential oils). Her daughter got to me. Livi is still a baby and just now learning that she can't have everything she wants. I took her to this meeting as Stef was sick. It wasn't long before Livi wanted to explore this 4 level split house with stairs everywhere and no gates and Eva building a hot and cold demeanour towards Livi. One minute she wanted to play with her, as long as she didn't touch any of her things ( yes.....tell a 15 month old that the hundreds of new toys she sees cannot be touched) the next minute she was hiding in the closet telling us to leave, meanwhile, I am trying to be polite and listen to the presentation. Livi is never unreasonable about limits to where she can walk in someone's house or in a restaurant and understands the term "no touching" to mean that she cannot touch, or walk any further. Tonight she resisted, protested and screamed. Throw in this 4 year old with an attitude, and I was done. She actually told me to clean up the "mess" that Livi made of the fridge magnets. The last straw, and I swear I am scarred for life, is when the two them were playing in the work out room where Livi just  fell in love with a Dora foam chair. Sitting and standing and sitting and standing....so cute. Eva comes along, takes it away and puts it in the closet. There's Livi, shocked, crying, trying to open the closet back up. I even said something and asked if she can continue playing with it. She looked at me without a word and continued to close the closet. I lost it. I bought some oils very quickly and left. I think Eva knew she went too far, as she sheepishly scurried around my feet with a guilty/fearful look in her eyes. I didn't care. I said out loud to her that if Livi can't play with anything, we're going to leave. And so we did. The mom was clueless.

In raising Livi, I try to put myself in her 15 month old shoes when I make a decision about discipline and guidance. She's always been reasonable and met me halfway when she couldn't get her way. Tonight she pushed really hard in a direction I was not familiar with.....perhaps she sensed a force in her midst that she felt she needed to defy....a greedy, moody 4 year old who had the balls to take something away from a happy baby and watch her cry. At that moment, standing in those little 15 month old shoes, I wanted to kick that closet door down and clue Eva in. I will make sure Livi is a better hostess than Eva was. Sure kids are territorial about their "stuff".....but you can usually reason with the older ones....all they want is to be asked and reassured that their property will be respected. Livi has encountered and played with many kids in many houses....all of them more than happy to play with her and share all their treasures. This was a new one for both of us. Lesson learned.....leave sooner.

(100th post) The Point is....

Exactly that. The Point. We are put in this world to fend for ourselves as far as communication goes. We learn a language based on no language at all, and from the beginning, it's trial and error in hopes of being understood. There is no mistaking the point. There is no mistaking what it's pointing to and what it means. Accompanied with with a smile, it means "look....that's interesting"....accompanied with a moan it means "I want that"...accompanied with looking under the couch, it means "my toy fell under there....can you get it?". Once the point is granted its wish, there is much joy....for both the pointer and the pointee. This is the beginning of communication....a conversation...of an attempt at being heard....without saying anything at all....and I swear it takes all I have not to chew on that sweet little finger when it sets its sights on her ball under her crib, on the broccoli on the counter, on the grapes in the shopping cart, on the balloons at the dollar store, at the geese in the park, other people's ice cream cones, her blankie on the chair......and at me, mommy, when she's crying in dad's arms after tripping on the driveway.

Official 15 month photos:

and from Stef's parents' annual July 1st BBQ:

here's the one from last year

At 15 months, here is what we can't get enough of:
You smiling sheepishly, almost embarrassed when we kiss in front of you. Then you want a kiss....and always get one. We race for it.
The way you extend your arm and show what ever you're holding in your hand.....a toy or a snack....to people passing by at the park. Today you held out a toy to a Canada Goose swimming in the water. It seemed intrigued.
The way you chatter in your own little language non stop. It's even consistent. Sounds nothing like ours, but you say the same thing when you greet people or when you find something interesting. It is the sweetest sound to our ears.
You are starting to do funny, silly things and know it, by smiling and looking for a reaction. You love to play games.....that reminds me....we haven't played hide and seek for a while.
Your love of ice cream. I got you mini drum sticks....just your size. Yesterday you tripped on the driveway holding one. You cried more than usual.....obviously more upset and concerned about the status of your drum stick than your knees or elbows. The intact ice cream sure wiped the tears off your little face.
No dolls or stuffed toys for you! Nope. Your favorite toys are balls...any balls...and you have all shapes and sizes now....and any complicated gadget you can get your hands on. I don't know how...but you know what objects can be opened, and you always try, with a frustrated sound if you can't.....and then you hand it to me for help, all excited to get at what's inside. Even if it's my lip balm.....I cave.
You play little flutes or a toy harmonica by putting your mouth on it and making the sound yourself. It kills us every time.
The way you try to open the freezer (bottom of fridge) 10 times a day.....hoping to get at my home made organic orange popsicles or an ice cube to lick until the real stuff comes along. You stand there, grunting and whining, pulling on the handle, until one of us comes along and either gives in or carries you away, kicking.
Your sweet and happy disposition, smiling or laughing most of the time.
You are always up for anything and love to socialize. You go up to people and touch them to get their attention. You like other kids and always greet them with your special vocabulary. Some interest you more than others.....I guess it's just like adults....we click with some people and some not.
You love the water....it's been hot lately and you've given up on our daily visits to the hot tub....but not a day passed without you trying to lift the lid of it in the back yard every morning and protesting when I carried you away. We're going to the pool today......and this time.... you won't need to point at all the other kids' beach balls and water guns. Mommy got you your very own.

As for my report card.....I get a B minus in the sleep department. I think I take good care of Livi....I will admit...staying home and being responsible for her every need, developmental and educational opportunities, fun and entertainment.....with my own personal goals and keeping up with proper nutrition for all of us ( we all have different diets) along with shopping and house work can be alot on my plate some days....so when three teeth came in at the same time, I threw in the towel and nursed her into all her naps (three a day at that time). Prior to this, Livi was able to put herself to sleep without any intervention from me. Last year at this time, when she needed motion to sleep (rocking, stroller, car, etc) I was panicked about how I will get her to sleep on her own. Turns out that as soon as she could roll over, she put herself to sleep by sucking on her sleeve. I took it a step further and gave her a breathable blankie when she laid down, and she just devoured it all the way to lala land. I was so happy to have found a system that let her sleep on her own without making her cry. That lasted for a long time.....and now that system needs repair and I am panic stricken again. I took for granted that she will always use that blankie to put herself to sleep at any time....I was wrong. When those last three teeth came in a the same time (including two molars) she was so distraught, I nursed her into her naps....then we both got used to the comfort, ease and convenience. Now too used to it. I've tried to put her down without nursing her and she looks at me like I'm nuts, throws her blankie aside and begins to cry. Coupled with the fact that she is more mobile and is starting to get on all fours and sit up from laying down, she does gymnastics and doesn't stop crying.  There is also a need to get her out of our bed and back into her crib for naps due to safety reasons..... a double whammy. So I'm back to square one. And kicking myself to the point where I'm the one losing sleep now. The starting point I have is that she still uses that blankie to put herself BACK to sleep when she's woken up during a nap or early morning. I would not have any issue with any of this if I was not going to be going back to work....but that might be around the corner and I can't have her set up for disaster like this. Perhaps a nanny would do a better job than I think of putter her to sleep, as Livi only associates nursing with me, but I can't count on that. I did learn a big lesson last year when I went through this the first time and I need to remember it: "I have to give Livi more credit in helping me figure this out and try lots of ways with much patience" and like I tell her when she gets uspet needlessly, "There's no need to cry".

This is my 100th post, writing about wanting, having and celebrating Little Livi. I thank all of you....if you've read only a few or all 100 of them. Every post is special to me and will be for Livi when she's older. Thank you for following our journey. It's been an honor having you along.